My Fear Year
In 2016, I faced my creative fears.
It all started with a podcast.
It was the summer of 2015, I was sitting in the office. Not much was happening, most of the staff was on vacation. I was bored, longing for my own vacation coming up. While doing the few things I had on my table, I listened to a podcast.
Someone was interviewing Rachel Brathen, Yogagirl, a Swedish woman who moved to Aruba and became a huge Instagrammer and world wide yoga teacher. Her story was inspiring, but there was something she said that hit right in my heart.
I realized I wanted to create.
Right at that moment, I knew that was it. That was what I'd been longing for.
Starting working life, getting out of the university bubble, I had a question nagging in the back of my head. Is this it? Everything we do until we get our first job is supposed to lead up to working life, so finally arriving to adulthood was a bit anticlimactic. Something was missing, but it took me a while to figure out it was creativity.
During the summer and fall of 2015, I started exploring the online world of creativity. I've always loved the internet and a new world started to open for me. I've never been much of a blog reader but the blogs I found was just amazing filled with hope and creativity. I wanted to join this world, to become part of it. To put my creativity out into the world.
BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING HOLDING ME BACK.
It was the same thing that kept me procrastinating my novel, the same voice that had kept me from studying creative writing instead of political science. The voice of fear.
It was when I read the book Linchpin by Seth Godin, a book that among other things talks about our deeply evolutionary fear of standing out and sharing our creative work, that an idea started to form in my mind. It was the idea of a Fear Year - a year when I actively seek my creative fears instead of avoiding them. That's what I needed. What I longed for.
I didn't know where my Fear Year would take me.
My goal was just this: To keep creating where fear is strong. To keep being brave.
Every month I published a report from the month that passed, with my thoughts, fears and lessons learned.
In the blog posts below, you can read about my journey and where it took me.
February was a month of searching for a new direction. My blog that started out as a project was growing into something more serious. I wanted to help but I didn't know how. During February I searched for my strengths and how to balance my enthusiastic side with my still one.
My self-doubt was strong, but following it made me find my way forward. I learned not to give up when it feels impossible. Keep at it, don't give up.