Fear Year Reports

What I learned from one year of facing my creative fears

What I learned from one year of facing my creative fears

The idea of facing my creative fears during 2016 came out of the realization that I would never create unless I dealt with the reason I wasn't creating: fear.

When I set out on my Fear Year, I didn't have a list of fears and I didn't plan my year. I trusted that fear would show me the way forward, and it did.

This is what happened, and what I learned from it.

Decide what matters most

Decide what matters most

October was a month of facing the fears of calling myself an artist and what I make art. I battled resistance and put too high demands on myself. Through deciding who I wanted to be as an artist, I broke through and started to plan my art shop. 

It was also a month of making hard decisions to relieve myself of stress. It was hard, but I needed the changes for my own well-being.

Focus on the draft and just keep writing

Focus on the draft and just keep writing

August was a month of fighting to keep writing. I struggled with creative frustration in my painting and by focusing on the current draft, I could keep painting and writing. 

Towards the end of the month, my summer vacation was over and moved into a new apartment with my boyfriend. It forced me to take a break and I worried I wouldn't be able to get back to writing afterwards.

Open up to creative freedom and experimentation

Open up to creative freedom and experimentation

July was a month of trying to get back to writing on my novel. I wrote, struggled, contemplated. Through embracing my creative freedom and forcing myself to experiment, I opened up to a more process focused way of creating, that helped me finally work on my novel. 

Once I really sat down to write, the demons of self-doubt came rushing forth, but I didn't give up and managed to create my way through them. 

Take the fun road and remember why

Take the fun road and remember why

March was a month of daring to show the world my silly heart. It was the month of launching my new website, embracing my weirdness and rediscovering my why when everything seemed impossible.

I remembered that this road is entirely my own and I get choose how it looks. My road is going to be a fun road, and I wont be the person who lets fear keep me from my dreams.

Keep trying, don't give up

Keep trying, don't give up

February was a month of searching for a new direction. My blog that started out as a project was growing into something more serious. I wanted to help but I didn't know how. During February I searched for my strengths and how to balance my enthusiastic side with my still one.

My self-doubt was strong, but following it made me find my way forward. I learned not to give up when it feels impossible. Keep at it, don't give up.

Start before you are ready

Start before you are ready

January was my beginning. I faced the fear of starting my blog, to start sharing my creativity with the world. It's been a month of searching for my voice, trying to find myself in all of this. Asking what the hell my Fear Year is. 

But when January ends, my inner voice has spoken up and I know that it was worth starting somewhere, even if it was scary. I'll figure it out.