Growing Through The Messy Middle
On June 7th, I realised I had hit the messy middle of my 6 month business leap. I had just entered the third month, I had settled into my new reality of working in my creative business full-time and then… things got messy.
I saw how a third of my 6 months had already passed, and I felt like I’d barely gotten started. I realised that after the summer, I would only have a month left, and I would have to decide if I could keep going full-time with my business. So I got stressed, and I got scared. Of running out of time, of not getting the results I was hoping for, of not doing and being enough.
One by one, my fears and mindset issues started rising to the surface. And I wrote in my notebook
Welcome to the messy middle. This is where blocks and fears live, and this is where I’ll get challenged for real in my chosen work.
The mess of the messy middle
In the messy middle, we face our biggest challenges. Yes, beginnings are hard and it can go years between getting the urge to pursue a creative project, and actually getting started. But it’s in the messy middle that we have to deal with the problems.
That’s when we can’t ignore our mindset struggles anymore, because they’ll eventually block your way forward. It’s when you have to try things you’ve never tried before and learn things you can’t do yet, or you won’t get to the next stage. This is when whatever is difficult about a project has to be dealt with, or you won’t be able to create it.
I knew this when I hit the messy middle of my 6 month leap. I’ve been through it before, and I’ve supported many coaching clients through this phase. I know it’s hard, but I also know this is the work that will make us grow as creatives.
So I kept my eyes open and let the mess get messy. One central thing that was bothering me was that my summer coaching bonus, The Summer Retreat, wasn’t getting as much attention as I had hoped. While my campaign when I first started my leap to book coaching with me had gone well, The Summer Retreat was gaining little traction. Obviously, I freaked out about it.
Another issue was that I was procrastinating on sending out pitches to guest on podcasts or write articles for magazines. This was nothing new, I had procrastinated on this for years. Before, I got away with it, but now I felt a more urgent need to grow my reach. So I had to deal with it and I started digging. Why was this so hard for me? What I eventually uncovered was that I, in fact, very much viewed myself as the new, one-day-a-week creative coach that I had been. In my little bubble I felt safe, but outside of that, I felt like a nobody. I didn’t fully take myself seriously, so why would anyone else?
Next, I started feeling trapped within my weekly habits, my long content plan and making Youtube videos every week. I pushed myself to stick to it for a while, until I finally rebelled against it, threw out my content plan and refused to follow my schedule.
Coming out on the other side
Freaking out about my setback, realising I didn’t take myself seriously and throwing out my plans and habits? This is the stuff that can make us come to a screeching halt in a project. But it’s also the stuff we grow through.
My campaign freak out made me finally recognise my scarcity mindset, and I started working through it. I also got to experience and learn to deal with a setback as a business-owner, which of course is part of the package when running your own business. And surprise surprise - it was not the end of the world!
My realisation that I didn’t fully take myself seriously gave me a whole new lens to see things through. I recognised how this was reflected in how I’d designed my website, how I talked about myself and how I thought about the future.
Rebelling against my weekly habits made me reshape them into something that suits me better, and learn more about myself and what works for me. It got me experimenting with how I make videos and how far ahead I plan.
When I had gone through all of this, I wrote in my notebook:
Something is happening. I think I’m going through a metamorphosis, as a coach and a business owner.
The individual challenges of my messy middle weren’t huge, but together they added up to a significant shift in how I think about myself and my business. It made me feel like I was entering a new phase of my journey. Like I was shedding an old skin that had started to become too tight.
The messy middle had brought problems to the surface, it had challenged me, and I had grown as a result.
What to do when you find yourself in the messy middle
My experience is by no means unique. With almost all of my coaching clients, things start off quite smooth, they’re excited and motivated and things start rolling. And then, in varying degrees, the messy middle hit.
And I know that when people keep going, keep digging, they grow, because I see it happen again and again. They break through blocks that have been holding them back. They realise what the problems are and find solutions. They understand their project like never before. They surpass thresholds they’ve never surpassed before. And they become better, braver creatives in the process.
So if you find yourself there too, in the messy middle, here are my suggestions for you.
Dig deeper
When we face challenges in our creative journey, there’s often a surface level problem that has a corresponding, deeper challenge. In the messy middle especially, you want to find the root of the problem. It’s like with weeding - if you just cut the weed off, it will pop up again and again. You want to dig up the root to fully deal with the problem.
If you notice you have a challenge that arise again and again, spend some time on understanding it. Journal about it, talk to a creative friend about it or get help from a coach. Keep asking why - why is it that you procrastinate on a certain thing, or feel awkward about something, or struggle to move forward in a project?
Be a problem-solver
Like we’ve seen, the messy middle is the part of a project where you have to handle problems, be them mindset issues or problems within the project itself. This can be the time when you have to work out a plot problem in your novel, or decide how to tie together different strands of your creative work into a cohesive brand, or face a fear of marketing your art shop.
Coming up against problems like these can bring down your confidence. It can feel like a big wall that you’re not going to get through. But problems can always be worked out - it’s part of the creative process. So the best you can do is to embrace your role as a problem-solver. Search for solutions, explore different ways of moving forward and don’t give up. And if your project needs to evolve to solve your problem, allow it to do so.
Nurture your joy
The messy middle can feel both challenging and like a bit of a slog. Things might not be flowing as easily as they have been, the inspiration might have worn off and at this point, it’s easy to lose some steam. Know that this is completely normal - a project can’t feel 100% all the time.
To not let this stop you from moving forward in your project, you want to nurture your joy within the messy middle. Look for the joy within your creative habits, what your inspiration is pointing towards and how you can find the beauty of this part of the journey. What is motivating you to work through the messy middle? Whatever it is, hold onto it.
Learn through setbacks
If you haven’t had any real setbacks yet in your project, the messy middle is usually when they come. They can be personal setbacks, like struggling to meet deadlines you’ve set for yourself or not getting to the vision you’ve had for your project. Or they might be external setbacks, like not getting as much attention as you’d hoped in a launch or struggling to see others’ appreciation for what you’re creating.
Unfortunately, setbacks is part of the creative process as well. They feel bad, especially if you feel a little vulnerable within your project and not entirely sure of yourself. But setbacks really, truly are just one thing: information. Whatever you were expecting or hoping for didn’t work out, and that gives you information for the next time you try something similar. Try to view this as a chance to learn more about your work and yourself, and use that knowledge for the future.
Support yourself
Finally, remember that the messy middle can be a challenging time. It’s easy to start talking down to yourself and get into a spiral where you feel worse and worse about your project and your ability to create it. Instead, you want to support yourself through the mess.
Give yourself good creative habits that support you to move forward with the project. When you face a challenge, ask yourself how you can support yourself through it. It might be to talk to a creative friend, pick up a book on the subject, read about how others have dealt with it or work with a creative coach like me.
You are the creator, the only one who can create this project, and supporting yourself through the messy parts is the most important thing you can do to bring this project to life.
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